I think I did a blog like this a long time ago, when I first started on WordPress (in the ancient year of 2011 or 2012). There’s no particular reason why I chose to write another one– it’s not like I feel particularly peppy or optimistic or anything. Heck, I don’t even feel like writing.
Fatigue has taken over me since yesterday evening, and it’s still wrecking my psyche this very hour. It would make sense for me to go to sleep but, quite simply, I don’t feel like it. So, I decided to blog.
If you’re feeling especially “low” tonight (or day, whatever time it is where you dwell), I hope at least one of these tips will help you. If not, feel free to vent your emotions by leaving me angry comments down below. Any derogatory Asian name will do. I’d much appreciate it as I don’t usually get comments.
Anyway, here’s the list:
1. Listen to some good, new songs.
This is an obvious one. I think everyone turns to music eventually in times of need; whether you’re getting over a break-up or lamenting the loss of How I Met Your Mother (“The finale destroyed everything good and holy in the world!!”), music is pretty much the remedy for everything and everybody.
But I think the immediacy that technology has afforded us has made it easier for a certain song to go from a favorite to “Oh my gosh why do I keep hearing that everywhere. I can’t. Even.” Sure, “Happy” by Pharrell was a catchy tune when it first came out, and I have to admit I have danced many an offbeat dance to it (albeit in the dark and in my PJs), but soon it was no longer catchy– it was annoying. Curse Pharrell and that ridiculous hat!
Not to mention the fact that many songs may invoke painful memories you would rather not think about in the current situation. “Love Story” by Taylor Swift was a lot sweeter to listen to before you caught your boyfriend sending kissy emojis to your best friend. Now it’s just an all out “Teardrops on My Guitar” session for you.
Listening to new songs makes me feel refreshed– like I’ve discovered this whole new world full of rainbows and puppies and shirtless Zac Efrons. It can remind you that there is always something else beyond what you have right now and that’s there’s always, always something better than what you’ve been listening to. The playlist that is your life is ever-expanding so you needn’t worry about the few crappy songs you have to get through now.
Aren’t I a modern-day Confucius?
Plus, there is no greater moment than when you suddenly land on some random song you have never heard of– and it freaking ROCKS. Forget whatever it is that’s sucking the life out of life, Ella Eyre’s “If I Go” is blasting through your speakers and you’re dancing like an idiot and that’s ALL THAT MATTERS.
If you’re wondering how to discover new music as nothing on YouTube’s popular page tickles your fancy, I suggest using Spotify.* It’s a music app you can download on your phone or computer where you basically get free music (with ads, of course, unless you want to pay for premium). The cool thing about it is that there’s tons of options on their “Browse” page for types of playlist. You can select playlists based on moods, genres, or events. They also track the types of artists/music you listen to and suggest new ones for you. From there, you can make your own playlist and name it “Screw you Ms. Becky For Failing Me in Calculus” or something like that.
You can also go back to some old music. I don’t mean Sinatra or Martin (unless you like them); the songs you listened to a couple years ago have probably escaped your memory. Hearing them again brings a special type of nostalgia with the same excitement as discovering a brand-new song.
2. Just Relax
Stop over-thinking everything. Stop moping in one spot over the same exact thing.
Make yourself a nice drink; it could be hot chocolate, coffee, tea, vodka, hot chocolate with vodka, coffee with vodka, tea with vodka. Just make sure you’re the right age as coffee can be a bit strong.
Dim the lights, cuddle up on the couch, and read a good book. If you don’t like books because it’s, like, the 21st century and books are ew, watch your favorite TV show or movie. Something that’s not too heavy, preferably a comedy. If you choose to watch Sophie’s Choice to clear your mind, that’s your choice (haha), but I recommend something like 21 Jump Street instead. Who knew Channing Tatum can be hot and funny? But whatever pleases you, that takes your mind off your worries, will work here because the main goal is to simply let it go.
3. Look at this cute picture of a dog licking a kitten.
Is that not enough to make your day? Okay, here’s another one:
4. Are you seriously not happy yet? Fine. Say any one of the following words over and over:
-Balkanize (Merriam-Webster’s word-of-the-day meaning “to break up (as a region or group) into smaller and often hostile units.” Kind of like how they broke up the Jersey Shore crew and gave them different spin-offs.)
I really want you to say them out loud to yourself over and over until you crack at least one, teeny-tiny smile. If you don’t do this exactly as I say, you will never be happy. Ever. Your life will be miserable and your wives will be barren!
Unless you’re more of a husband person, in which case he will have microscopic penis. (See that? That wasn’t a period. That was a visual representation of your future spouse’s genitals.)
5. Try drugs.
There it is. Another list of ways I think would help you lovely readers “happify” yourselves (that is not an actual word; please don’t use it on your English essays). I really do hope this helped you at least a little bit, even if it has nothing to do with the actual tips and everything to do with making fun of my atrocious grammar.
How cruel of you.
If all else fails, go ahead and place one arm around your computer screen/tablet/hand-held cellphone. Now the other arm. Now squeeze tightly, look away from the screen, and hold for five seconds.
Now let go.
I want you to know that I *literally* (appropriate use of the word) did the same thing.
We just hugged, and even if I don’t know you (in fact, I don’t even know if you exist. Who really reads my blog besides one amazing person whose comment completely made my day?), you’re a wonderful person and I hope this awkward, virtual interaction we just shared brought you some sort of comfort, and I hope whatever horrible thing that’s making you unhappy gets deported to Canada with Justin Bieber.
Btw, if you didn’t return my hug– dishonor on you, dishonor on your family, dishonor on your cow.
Your beloved blogger,
*Not sponsored by Spotify. I am no where awesome enough. I just think it’s a great app.
**I’m kidding, obviously. Please don’t do drugs. Unless it’s marijuana and you live in Colorado, Washington, or one of those liberal-minded countries like North Korea. ❤