Still Not Asleep

Hello again fellow insomniacs.

Since I’m still awake, I decided to do another blog. This one is a bit different.

I used to do question tags all the time on Facebook. No one would tag me, I would just do them. They were fun because what’s more fun than talking about yourself? 

The answer, if you are not me, is reading what I have to say about myself. 


So right from the best search engine on the internet, Yahoo, here are 25 questions with lovely answers attached to them. 

If you read this entire thing, I think you should start questioning your position in life. 

1. Do you have any pets? 

I had a couple of dogs a while ago. They all died. Then, I got another dog not that long ago. Some idiot ran over her with his/her car. 

You sir or madam, are pure scum, and I wish a friend of yours accidentally left weed behind when you dropped him/her off and a cop eventually pulled you over, found that weed, and arrested your pleas, “I promise, officer! I honestly have no idea how that got in there!” fall on deaf ears. 


2. Name 3 things that are physically close to you. 

My phone. (I am a human being in 2014.)

My pillow. 

Shara, my stupidly named stuffed bunny. I named her in third grade and shouldn’t have been given such responsibility.
3. What’s the weather like right now? 

Um, dark.
4. Do you drive? If so have you crashed? 

Sort of. And no, not completely but I’m sure it’s bound to happen one day. 
5. What time did you wake up this morning? 

Uhhhhh 10? No, 9. I don’t know; it’s spring break. I wake up when my nightmare tells me to.
6. When was the last time you showered? 

Hmm let me think… was it last Friday or Thursday?

Just kidding. Maybe.

7. What was the last movie you saw? 

In theaters? Divergent (good)

At home? Friends with Benefits (good)
8. What does your last text message say? 

“I hope you’re not driving.”
9. What’s your ringtone? 

I don’t feel like checking but it’s a generic iPhone ringtone because I’m “basic.”

10. Have you ever been to a different country? 

Yes because I’m super exotic.
11. Do you like sushi? 

Never tried it but I think the answer would be no.
12. Where do you buy your groceries? 

I just steal mine from the strangers’ trunks in Wal-Mart parking lots. Don’t blame me; you’re the one taking a century to return the cart. 
13. Have you ever taken medication to help you fall asleep faster? 

Oh my goshhhhh this list is longer that I thought.

14. How many siblings do you have? 

Zero. I’m so lonely.
15. Do you have a desktop computer or a laptop? 

No. I am inscribing this information onto a small handkerchief using my blood, then letting my carrier pigeon deliver it to Bill Gates who will then send it to the internet. The process works but I do get dizzy a lot.
16. How old will you be turning on your next birthday? 

I am 18 doing on 19, still don’t know what to do with my lifeeeee (Sound of Music style)
17. Do you wear contacts or glasses? 

The latter because contacts scare me.
18. Do you color your hair? 

It’s black but a friend in junior high told me that her dad told her that black hair doesn’t exist, just dark-dark brown. I don’t know how credible a source her dad is but if he’s right, I guess I’m dark-dark brown. 

…then what do we call black people?

(Racist comment #1. I was waiting for my mind to bring that forth.)
19. Tell me something you are planning to do today. 

20. When was the last time you cried? 

I don’t cry. My eyeballs must expel liquid every once in a while to get rid of the excess badassery. 
21. What is your perfect pizza topping? 

so. long.

Pepperoni because basic. bitch.
22. Which do you prefer-hamburgers or cheeseburgers? 

Neither. Fifthly, fat Americans.

I prefer super greasy, salted french fries with a side of nachos.

Gosh I’m hungry.
23. Have you ever had an all-nighter? 

Yes. I don’t recommend it.
24. What is your eye color? 

A majestic shade that combines all sorts of beautiful hues birthed right out of nature’s brightest spots.

Somehow, it looks kind of brown.
25. Can you taste the difference between Pepsi and Coke? 

Coke is nice, sweet, and enjoyable. Like Ariana Grande or Taylor Swift in 2008. Pepsi is all of those things but with a certain twist. Like Miley Cyrus. But I’m sure it tastes better.


There it is. Now you know 25 things about me. Maybe we can be friends!

Or better… you can the follow button and I can entertain you with my stupid words and my stupid face. 

Your beloved blogger, 


P.S. I said it once before, but just in case you didn’t see the other blog, I’m sorry for any odd grammar/spelling errors. 

Actually, I’m not sorry. It’s past 1am. What do you expect?


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