5 New Year Resolutions I’ll Make (and Break)

Here it is again!

Last year, I made a resolutions blog, and I’ve decided to continue the tradition (or rather, start a tradition since I’ve only done it once before).

I think it’s an interesting way to make such a list. Putting out all my goals in a public forum allows me to feel more shame when I don’t end up completing them, meaning I’ll be more inclined to complete them. Genius idea? I think so.

Still, I can’t promise I will. However, this is a pretty big year for me. It’s the year I’m graduating high school. And as I’ve been told, this is one of the biggest milestones in my life. One where I will be pushed to finally move onto adulthood either in a fantastic fanfare or subtle, slowly-agonizing failure. I’m hoping for something in between.

Without further ado, here they are. Enjoy, darlings.

1. Workout More

Here’s a surprising fact that surprises even myself: I used to run on my school’s cross country team. Here’s something that’s not so surprising: I wasn’t very good.

Despite that, I still went to practice every day in the fall and worked out for two hours. It kept my body from disintegrating into a blob of diabetic fat. It’s also worthy to mention that I didn’t have one period cramp during the xc season so that whole exercising-gets-rid-of-period-cramps myth is actually true.

Basically, running made my body happy.

But almost immediately after the season is over, I find myself reverting back to my lazy state, rarely moving except to get more food. It’s a sad transition, and one I hope to stop.

Lately, I’ve been trying to claw my way out of this state (I just did a 45 minute workout with my Nike training app) so that I won’t disintegrate into a diabetic blob of fat.

Maybe, the new year will bring a new, healthy Lisa who will exercise at least 30 minutes a day and eat healthier so that the Lisa fifty years from now won’t be suffering from clogged arteries.

But I usually don’t prioritize like that so maybe not. Which brings me to my next point…

2. STOP Procrastinating

This resolution is almost laughable because I know, deep in my heart, that it will not happen. I can tell myself that it will. I can look up motivation videos on it. I can even stick to it for a day or two. But it won’t happen because I have the attention span of…

OMG Miley Cyrus is performing!

…and I like to do things that are not my responsibilities. I probably get some weird satisfaction from waiting until the last minute to do things. I may be a mental stress addict.

Anyway, if I am able to stop procrastinating, even for a small instant, I want it to happen soon because I have 100 school projects to complete and a thousand college essays to write before winter break ends.

If it doesn’t happen, I’ll settle for the mixture of all-nighter and mental breakdown I’ve become accustomed to. Happy 2014 to me!

3. Graduate & Head to College

Graduating used to seem like a sure-thing for me but then I decided to take AP calculus, and now it seems like I might not. It’s sad but I’ve suppressed the thought enough that it doesn’t bother me anymore. In fact, I haven’t looked at my grades in more than a month because, as they say, ignorance is bliss. According to my logic, I’m not failing if I don’t know I’m failing.

Hopefully, though, I will graduate and get into one of my dream colleges. I have four of them, not because I’m indecisive but because I have diverse interests. Read that, colleges? NOT INDECISIVE BUT DIVERSE INTERESTS.

Just making sure that isn’t used against me in the admissions process.

To all the other high school seniors enduring the same pains I am right now, good luck to you all. Hopefully, this time next year, we’ll all be happy wherever we are, even if it’s not the place we had our minds set on.

So if that means community college and a part-time job at McDonald’s, live the dream, darlings.

I’d also like to give a special shout-out to the brave souls trying to get their applications in by the January 1st deadline. I know there’s a lot of you out there, and I salute you because you’re probably in complete freak-out mode right now. Just chill out, don’t condemn your procrastination (because it’s too late for that), and submit it on time. If you don’t, you just wrecked your shot at college and your chance at achieving even a small slice of success.

Go on strong.

4. Befriend a Drag Queen

Enough with the clichéd productivity stuff; let’s move onto some fun things every adolescent girl wants to do in the new year.

Meeting a drag queen must be right up there with marry a member of One Direction, right?

Actually, the latter isn’t even on my list. I admit to liking their music but I don’t find any of them particularly attractive. However, I do find drag queens intriguing which may or may not say something about my sexuality… but it’s New Year’s Eve. No need to bring up topics like that at this moment.

Anyway, I have said, “Hi,” to one once before at a parade; the moment was fleeting but it made my entire day– or week or year or life, I can’t remember. To me, drag queens are the epitomes of fabulousness, and they represent the daring ability to be unabashedly different and truly yourself.

Also, they dress better than I do on certain days. I’m hoping to get some tips.

If at this time next year I could be in Florida watching Sushi be lowered down in the red heel, my life would be complete.

5. Own and Fly My Own Unicorn

This is probably easier to achieve than my #2 resolution.

I am not trying to be funny or ridiculous. That happens quite naturally without me making any effort. I truly believe that hidden in some majestic forest in either Brazil or Canada is a herd of unicorns. When discovered, I am going to take partial credit and be able to own a couple of my own. I’ll give some away for a million dollars each, don’t worry.

However, one I am going to keep for myself. I’ll name him/her Bonquiqui, regardless of sex, and be happy for the rest of my days.

So if you see an Asian zooming over a rainbow on what looks like a sparkly, pink horse, be sure to say, “Hi, Bloggiechick!” I will be me, and I will not wave back. I’m on a freaking unicorn, don’t expect me to pay attention to you peasants. Ain’t nobody got time for dat.

A drawing of Bonquiqui.

On that note, I leave you to celebrate the rest of your New Year’s Eve and the rest of your New Year’s Day. Have a fantastic 2014.

Your beloved blogger,



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