Hello Again (again)

I haven’t written a blog in a long while, and I would like to apologize to my beloved non-existent readers for my stint of writer’s block.

On top of that, I simply did not have time. I have as much room to breathe as Robin Thicke’s crotch at the VMA’s.

Yes, I threw in a Miley Cyrus-VMA joke. Judge me.

With that said, I do plan on getting back to writing on here again. I miss it. Even when I return to a like-less and comment-less page, there’s still a sense of accomplishment that looms from my unread work, and I want to harvest that empty feeling of achievement as much as I can, as I will need it when I’m crying over my calculus homework.

I also realize this is one of the many extensive departures I have made on here but whoever is reading this probably don’t, so let’s move on.

I put together a mock interview of myself with questions I think my fans would ask me (if I had fans, or readers, or an adequate amount of followers), and subsequently answered them in a way I think I would answer them if they were formally asked– not in a way where I know I am just talking to myself.

So here it is. Enjoy:

Glad to have you back, Lisa,

Glad to be back, imaginary interviewer.

I know you’ve been away a long time. Mind telling us what you were doing on your break?

Oh you know, just discovering myself. Roaming the jungles of South America, seeing Italian operas, surveying modern art in Paris, enjoying the delicacies of Japan, testing the waters of the Gulf of Mexico…

No, really.

I’ve been sitting at home, on the couch, watching Family Guy and America’s Got Talent.

I see. Can you tell us what this has done to your creative capacity?

Slime-Spangler-Halloween-Science-Win-25-Gallons1

This, This is what it has done to my creative capacity– my mind in general.

What made you want to return? I mean, you could have just abandon WordPress like you abandoned Blogspot and Tumblr. 

First of all, thanks for bringing those up. Second, I just wanted to write again. I’m currently taking a creative writing class, and it’s especially difficult for me now because I’m suffering from a serious case of writer’s block– a case that has lasted for more than three years.

Would you consider that just being a bad writer? Let’s not get into that.

Anyway, I like writing, and I like the idea of people reading my blog and finding some sort of entertainment out of it. If no one reads my blog, which often happens, then I force one of my reluctant friends to do so. I can’t lose.

But what makes you want to write if you find it to be such a difficult hassle ?

I don’t know. I feel like you could ask any (good) writer that, and they can give you the most poetic, moving response that would make you want to pull out a notebook and pencil and try to pen the next great American novel.

Unfortunately, I don’t think I’m like that. I’m not capable of imparting any type of endearing wisdom that would soothe the mind of the frustrated writer. I’m an awkward seventeen year-old girl with no social life and an urge to put her stupid thoughts onto the internet for others to read.

At this point, I suppose you expect me to go into a rant about how hard my life is and how writing is the escape I need from the madness that surrounds my spiritual prison but instead, I’ll show you this.

You’re welcome.

That is a fantastic image choice, Lisa. Last question for you, what are your plans for the future? 

You mean for this blog? Or the whole scheme of things?

Let’s address the former first. I plan on keeping this blog at the same level of dignity I have always carried it with. If you’re confused with what level of dignity I am talking about, refer back to the previous picture.

I also plan on updating it more but that probably won’t happen. Don’t count on it happening because I’m not.

Finally, I hope on adding “more” to it, not just in the amount of content but the quality. I used to like making political commentary, no matter how inane it can be, but now I can’t force myself to make fun of any of our lovely politicians.

I don’t know why.

As for the latter, I plan on graduating high school, going to college, and finally getting a degree in something that will put food in my mouth.

Then, I TAKE OVER THE UNIVERSE.

This is the face I want to make when I take over the universe.

So that is all. I hope you enjoyed this, and if you didn’t, apologize to yourself for not having a brilliant sense of humor.

Your beloved blogger,

Bloggiechick

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