Could the Gay Marriage Debate Become the Great Oreo vs. Chick-fil-A Battle? Yes.

You may scoff at my title or even be a little offended that I’ve minimized an important social issue into a competition between a cookie and a chicken sandwich, but first listen to my explanation.

Since Chick-fil-A’s CEO Dan Cathy announced his support of traditional marriage, the food chain -once just another reason for America’s high obesity rate- has become a big symbol of the controversy brewing in America.

There have been boycotts, vandalism and even one disgruntled drive-thru youtuber who makes coning (the practice of dropping an ice cream cone on purpose and demanding another one for supposed comical reasons) look like a $100 tip for a fast food employee.

On the flipside, there has been prominent endorsements from political figures, increased business to certain restaurants, and a national holiday dedicated to America’s love of fat and bigotry.

All because Dan Cathy, a man few knew before his controversial statement, said that he thinks legally acknowledged butt sex and scissoring is immoral.

Of course, there are more applicable reasons. Like how the $2 you paid for waffle fries is going to gay hate groups.

But that doesn’t excuse the absurdity of this situation, does it?

Yes/no. Any way you cut it, the bottom line is that we are fighting over a chicken sandwich (which doesn’t help our stereotype of appearing fat and stupid to foreigners). A fast food chain has intensified the debate over whether gays can marry; which is like a BLT having an effect on stem cell research.

However, if a business is giving money to an organization that deeply opposes your position on something, it makes sense to stop giving your business to it and hope that enough of others will do the same to make a difference; or if they support your position, to eat away and spread the word.

Many changes have been made using the boycott tactic:

Remember the bus boycott that helped fuel a stronger civil rights movement?

Or The Boston Tea Party? Tea was not the only over-taxed good the colonists were against and yet, the other factors that spawned the revolution is extremely overshadowed.

That’s why I wouldn’t be surprised if I saw a cartoon of an Oreo cookie beating up a chicken sandwich (or vice versa) in a history book twenty years from now.

Let’s face it, we love to get riled up over things we purchase -especially things we purchase and can put in our mouths. No matter how superficial it seems to protest Chick-fil-A or leave insults on Oreo’s rainbow cookie picture, it may be seen years from now as actions essential to the legalization/non-legalization of gay marriage.

These things give us a platform, a mascot if you will, in which to argue for and against.

Personally, I am very pro-gay marriage. I believe that most people will be too someday, including the aforementioned food chain. If halting my business to the company and getting fat off of 500 boxes of oreos is what it takes, then so be it.

It’s easy for me though. I never bought anything from Chick-Fil-A anyway (except for an over-priced bottle of water).

We need to realize that our obessession with materialism has become a great part of what makes us… great. Standing up for what we believe in, in any way we can, sets the stage for progress and equality.

Or if you’re on Chick-Fil-A’s side, inequality and religious over-sensitivity.

Just kidding; you are more than free to be bigots.

So the lesson I’m trying to teach through this blog post?

If you want gay marriage legalized, invade a Chick-Fil-A restuarant, steal their chicken sandwiches and throw them into a harbor. Preferably dressed up as homosexual indians.

Your beloved blogger,


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